November 24, 2014

THE SURVIVOR SERIES SPECTACULAR

POINTS HEADING INTO SURVIVOR SERIES

  • That’s Cena’s team? Yeah. It’s a good team… well a decent one considering who’s on the roster and the circumstances of the story. There’s nothing really wrong with his team, it’s just that after seeing Cena’s team be decimated and taken out, I expected him to replace his team entirely or it’d just be Cena and Ryback against Cena’s greatest rival, the odds. I mean, after Cena did his Stand up routine on Raw, the crowd chanted Ryback, and the teams were about to fight, I was waiting for some new guys to come out, but NO. We got limping Big Show (AKA regular Big Show), limping Ziggler (AKA regular Ziggler), and BLASTED Erick Rowan (AKA regular Erick Rowan). Did they expect him to get a pop? Either way, we all knew Ryback would run out and help Cena pop some caps, and I’m glad he did. Jokes aside, I felt Cena tonight, not like Nikki Bella, but I felt the passion in his voice tonight… not to say anything positive about Cena or anything. Okay now please excuse this following diatribe… Jack Swagger aligns with Cena and last week Seth Rollins hit his finisher on Swagger NORMALLY, not through cinder blocks. NORMALLY. Due to this Swagger is now out of the Survivor Series match. Okay. Every week, Ziggler’s getting beaten up and this week he gets DECIMATED by the Authority. Later THAT SAME NIGHT on Raw, he is healthy enough to help fight the Authority. WHY CAN”T SWAGGER BE IN THE MATCH? I’M SURE Swagger has a higher tolerance and threshold of pain. Call me redundant, but why can’t he be in the match? He was okay to be wrestling during WWE Mainevent, but not THE PAY PER VIEW A WEEK LATER? Let me calm down.
  • The Authority probably won’t lose since they recently got a logo right? Yup, that’s pretty much how I see it (As WWE Creative humor on also Twitter alluded to).
  • There’s probably going to be a lot of filler huh? Probably more than a jelly donut, but WWE probably thinks since so many of the matches are elimination (two or three) that that’ll fill time.

SEVEN QUESTIONS FROM SURVIVOR SERIES

  • Why did Sting cost the Authority the tag team match? Well he needed a big enough story line to go along with his first WWE stint. No, we all know Sting is a “goody-goody” so he probably saw evil in the Authority and wanted to stop them from winning, because that’d be bad. Or he’s a Dolph Ziggler fan. Or he hates Triple H. Or he just so happened to be in town and wanted to interfere in a wrestling match- referees don’t really care who interferes anyway. Let’s be honest, this question is what the WWE wants to be looming around in our head until Raw, so we’ll have to tune in to Raw to see some long promos, pointless tag team matches, Larry the Cable Guy, and the build towards Sting becoming the GM of Raw for a few months until Undertaker shows up and Sting books a match for Wrestlemania between the both of them. Bonus points for Sting if he says Starcade-mania.
  • Why did Brie kiss AJ? According to what “people” have been saying (or typing), this kiss cost AJ her match against Nikki (I’m thinking ala Sheamus Daniel Bryan at Wrestlemania 28), but I can’t speak on why because the stream that I was watching on… the WWE, um Network of course… you know the network… that I obviously watched it on because... where else could I watch it from… heh… yeah, the stream cut out and I got distracted watching the AMAS so I kind of missed this match. I don’t know why Brie used a kiss instead of like a slap or something, but I suppose Nikki told her to because it’d be kind of embarrassing? Who knows, but Ariana Grande was killing it!
  • So divas are suddenly not brittle anymore? You know that time from 2009 to maybe 2012 or early 2013 when Divas matches lasted for like two minutes and if they ever had an elimination tag match, they’d all get eliminated under five minutes or so? Yeah, I try not to either, but tonight nobody got eliminated until later on in the match. This was odd, I thought a lightly botched kick could eliminate any diva in three seconds? That’s weird WWE, it’s like something’s changed, is it something the Divas are eating? Is it caring? In any case, it’s cool to see the divas having longer matches that mean something-ish. When Layla came out I popped because I thought Lay-cool (she and Michelle Mccool) was coming out. They were the best thing during that 2009 to 2011 area. Oh, and of course Jack Swagger’s title reign. On the match itself, when it was down to Paige alone against the faces, I was hoping that she would be able to eliminate all four of her opponents and be the lone survivor, but Naomi had to ruin that, with her derriere.   
  • Why doesn't Roman Reigns have Charisma? Because a long time ago his ancestors could only choose one of his 800 cousins to have enough charisma to electrically power the earth and that cousin was Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson.
  • When was the last time Bray Wyatt won? I think when he beat Sin Cara in a match on Smackdown, but I’m not sure if that’s much of a victory. See, apparently Wyatt doesn't need to win to be relevant, because wins and losses don’t matter to a lot of viewers as long as they’re entertained or something. I guess I can understand that logic since absolutely no one dislikes Cena for his amount of wins. I didn't really pay much attention to his match with Dean Ambrose, not because it was bad, because my stream was lagging, or because Ariana Grande was putting in work during the AMAS, but because Wyatt just... zzzzzz. I don’t know, when he comes out it’s like my interest cuts out just like his little video clip does right before he says (CHEAP POP) we’re here. Does he even say “we’re” anymore since he’s alone? I don’t know, it was a fine segment, but Wyatt, one of the most dynamic characters in some time, ironically needs to change something up.
  • Why isn't Survivor Series treated like a deal anymore? I don’t know. It is, but at the same time it isn't. It is treated like a big deal a little bit, because it always has at least one blockbuster match, but the event itself isn't treated like a “big four” event overall. They actually considered getting rid of survivor series at one point. Maybe it’s because WWE doesn't care about tag team wrestling that much anymore? I think it’ll stay around for historic and brand recognition reasons, but, it’s definitely not as loved as Summer Slam by the WWE. It’s on par with the Royal Rumble (and is usually a better show than RR, in my opinion), in terms of hype, but, the Rumble Match always makes the Royal Rumble feel like a big event, when it’s usually just an episode of Raw with one pay-per-view quality match and a fancy battle royal tacked on the end. Hopefully the Series will survive.
  • Will John Cena Feud with the Big Show again? If you ask a question involving John Cena and something you don’t want to happen on the show, it’ll happen. But, one day it won’t, just never give up.         

“SURVIVING” (BEST) MOMENTS
  • Naomi swearing she was a boss after eliminating Cameron.
  • Stardust’s face paint and ring gear being on point.
  • Big Show surpassing Kane for most Heel or Face turns, with 523.
  • Heath Slater Saying Adam Rose’s bunny was "Carrot-matic".
  • Mr. McMahon’s opening promo.
  • The audience in St. Louis being WEAK.
  • Triple H beating the referee.
  • The surprise of Cena being eliminated.

SHOW STEALER

  • Dolph Ziggler. The five on five team Cena V.S team Authority match was probably the best match of the night by default, but, the match as a whole didn't really steal the show. But, Ziggler, he stole the show. He had his moment… which means in a month he’ll be jobbing again.


Thanks for reading and spending some time with me! God bless you fine people, and comment if you’re into that “type” of thing.

November 16, 2014

Seven Questions from Smackdown (11/14/2014 episode)

WWE Friday Night Smackdown- November 14, 2014
  • What team is going to win at Survivor Series? That’s an easy one, Team Ryback. Let’s face the facts, there’s only one team who’s good enough to win and that is the team of THE BIG GUY. Ryback rejected the Authority and John Cena’s offers to be on their respective teams. He’s gone rogue and now is only on team Ryback. Ryback is winning because everyone wanted Ryback, the most important people on the show wanted RYBACK. Usually people want tables, but they wanted Ryback. The big guy’s a big deal and is getting hyped like sliced bread in its heyday. The thing I like about Ryback’s push opposed to, say, Roman Regins’ is that Ryback’s attitude makes me laugh and no matter how clunky his matches are or how funny his promos sound, he entertains me. Or intrigues me at least. Reigns kind of makes me roll my eyes because he adds nothing to his character. But he’s not of importance right now, unlike THE BIG GUY.
  • Did Jericho or Triple H win that highlight reel exchange? Triple H and Stephanie being guests on the Highlight reel resulted in an argument between Y2J and Stephanie’s husband. Triple H downplayed Jericho and Fozzy’s only relevant member held his own against the boss. This is the "PG era" so Jericho couldn’t give his trademark comebacks/disses as he did in the attitude area, but he could have done better than this. I love a good comeback, and Jericho didn't go hard enough in his responses. But, I suppose he wanted to tread lightly so that he doesn't end up like Randy Orton, but when has logic ever factored into WWE story lines? Peak Jericho was 2008 Jericho, the best in the world at what he does Jericho. All of his face antics after that phenomenal run, seem forced to me and I can’t really believe them. I mean that’s a testament to how good his heel character was, but still, maybe Jericho’s just a better face when he has long Jerichoholic locks. So, to answer the question, Triple H won by default.
  • When’s Ambrose’s daddy coming home? Gosh, I wish I knew. Maybe Bray Wyatt could tell me since he knows everything. Or Michael Cole could tell me, since he interviews everyone before their matches. Dean Ambrose’s dad being interjected into the story adds emotion to the match, but it feels like WWE’s doing too much. Perhaps, it’s doing too little because there’s a story, but there’s no interest. Wyatt picking up a microphone and saying things that should make me think about stuff and revealing deep palm readings of his opponents’ lives doesn't interest the timekeeper... at least anymore. All of his feuds feel the same. This Ambrose and Wyatt feud is now just a Bray Wyatt feud. Power of his influence or a stigma? I don’t know, but Wyatt should be more engaging than he is. I watch his every move, but he doesn't make me pay attention. They’re both alleged crazy men, but one’s loved and the other one's AJ… I mean Bray Wyatt.
  • Is Ziggler more of a fighting champion than Rey Mysterio circa 2006? No. Rey had to put in work to keep his world title, WORK. But, Ziggler is defending his championship a lot and that’s good for my favorite Championship (people have favorite championships right? Well, they will now) and best for business. He defended the title against Tyson Kidd and Cesaro in a lovely match. Tyson’s getting a nice mid-card push, so I suppose thanks are in order for Total Divas. But you know what I realized? Ziggler is betraying Cena or switching sides at Survivor Series. That’s my prediction as of now; Ziggler’s getting beat up every night, this will cause him to resent the never-helping-him-out John Cena, and he will align with the Authority. I'm calling it. 
  • What boy band sings Tyson Kidd’s theme song? They sound like they might have a future in some commercial jingles or something like that. I know I can just google it, but that takes the fun out of it. However, if that’s Jim Johnston singing, dude’s got some chimes.      
  • Is the Bunny and Adam Rose’s relationship unhealthy? I don’t think so. I don’t think its domestic violence or animal abuse, but I think the bunny needs to show some back bone. I know that when you’re a pushover, sometimes you can’t always do what you want to do, but the bunny can’t take anymore junk from Adam Rose. The bunny needs to stand up and be a man (no, that does not mean he has to reveal his human identity) and show Adam Rose who’s really the one that’s over. They don’t necessarily have to split, they could and should work things out, but the bunny and Adam Rose will have to fight. Honestly, if Roger Rabbit can get Jessica Rabbit, the Bunny can get some respect. Find out what it means to me. 
  • Did Sin Cara wear red and Yellow in hopes that it would help him get over like Hulk Hogan? Perhaps, it could just be because those two colors go together really well or he was trying to transform into a McDonald's franchise so that he could become extremely successful and draw millions of dollars. Or you know, he was trying to be Hogan. 

Thanks for reading and spending some time with me! God bless you fine people and comment if you're into that "type" of thing.

November 06, 2014

THE STATE OF WORLD WRESTLING ENTERTAINMENT

                Aloha, and welcome to the Timekeeper’s chair. I am Dr. Kay, and I will be playing the role of the timekeeper.You know, the person who watches every second of the action and keeps track of time? That's what I'm pretending to do! Am I a real doctor? Perhaps, but that’s not relevant to the subject at hand. The subject at hand is World Wrestling entertainment, the worldwide leader in sports entertainment. I am very much entertained by WWE and have been watching for years now. WWE is really amazing when you think about it, there’s action, drama, conflict, pyrotechnics, athletics, beautiful visuals, crowd interaction, realism, fantasy, jumbled up story lines that lack continuity and seem to refrain from making sense simply to spite the engaged viewer, catch phrases, a little bit of romance, comedy, captivating dialog, and wondrous tales of triumph, good conquering evil, inspiration, and glory. Pro wrestling is glorious theatre. But, specifically, WWE is glorious theatre. To see the beauty in WWE you have to believe it. You also have to overlook a lot of poor booking decisions and John Cena, but you have to believe in the beauty. 
               However, to get to the beauty, we’ll have to cut through the ugly, and there tends to be a lot of ugly. Sure, I’m just analyzing things based on what I know, what I think, wrestlers involved, predictions, patterns, and a bunch of other things, so, let’s not forget that something supposedly bad or stupid now, can become something good or wise later. Just like my writing. So, just like with certain things you love, let’s break down the WWE and over analyze its problems.

THE STATE OF THE WWE:
  • Monday Night Raw is still the flagship show. It probably will be for “then now and forever” but the downside is that Friday Night Smackdown has been demoted to a Raw recap show with decent Wrestling matches. It’s been this way since about 2012, but has generally always had the better quality wrestling matches. Smackdown has almost become irrelevant and a lot of its matches are repeated on Raw or are repeats themselves. Shame. WWE is still trying to make WWE Mainevent happen. They need to stop, because it’s not happening. Perhaps because it’s on the WWE network, but we’ll get to that later. WWE NXT is basically the best “wrestling” show and to me, has the best atmosphere. NXT’s also on the WWE network, but it’s not Mainevent, so it’s not bad.
  • John Cena is still the undisputed face of the WWE and still in the main event scene. The fact that Cena was the first person I mentioned in this article is just further proof that no matter you’re opinion of him, you’re going to talk about him. I’m impartial to John Cena (that’s what people who don’t like him say to hide their typical hate of him, or what someone who likes him says to hide the fact that they like him) and Cena wins is more of a WWE commonplace than the ring. He’s definitely annoying and “down our throats,” but we have to deal with him. He draws money and we watch his every move. But ladies and gentleman, it’s not the destination, it’s the climb. One day he will be overthrown (after beating Ric Flair’s Championship record tenfold) and we will all rejoice. Then miss him the next day.
  • Brock Lesnar is your WWE World Heavyweight champion. Lesnar is the personification of man and beast. Lesnar is one of the most entertaining characters on TV. The only thing is, he’s barely on TV. That’s not a criticism of Lesnar being a part-timer and not being present each week, that’s a criticism of the blandness of WWE’s roster. I think that the blandness could actually be attributed to the Raw three hour format, but, that’s a topic for another day. On Lesnar being a part time champion, I enjoy it and think it’s cool. It makes the Championship seem like a legitimate prize, makes Lesnar even more of a beast for defending it on his own terms, and makes Lesnar seem like an untouchable legendary monster. However, the execution of what it could and should be is practically nonexistent. It’s kind of like “let’s focus on this story line and Cena, until it’s Lesnar season”. If they had people actively battling for the right to face Lesnar and making this seem like this is the most unobtainable the Championship’s ever been, the Champion’s presence would be there every week.   
  • There’s still a struggling mid-card division. It seems sometimes that WWE only puts effort into making the main event interesting and just throw together a bunch of random matches for the rest of the show. Yeah, the talent has to “step up” and be entertaining, but you can’t blame the actor for why Hamlet dies at the end of the play. Spoiler alert? Story line wise, the mid-card is kind of boring, but there’s definitely talent there. Dolph Ziggler is the intercontinental champion and consistently puts on great matches. I never really liked Ziggy, but he’s growing on me like Pinocchio’s nose. Okay, maybe not that much, but he’s gotten more interesting. Lana is the United States—excuse me, Rusev is the United States Champion after beating Sheamus for the title. Rusev being the Anti-American super athlete has run its course, but he’s still one of the high points every episode of Raw. He’s being promoted heavily by the company, so it’s all just a matter of time before he gets beat by John Cena. Rusev V.S Cena or Lesnar would be interesting, but that’s a topic for another day. Oh, and quick note to Sheamus: Sheamus, I don’t know what you’re trying to do or be, but I think that you desperately need to stop. Is it a megastar, Sheamus? Is it a megastar that you’re trying to be, Sheamus? Because if it’s a megastar you’re trying to be, Sheamus, you need to behave yourself. Please, turn heel (i.e become a villain) again so that when you wrestle, I know you’re intentionally trying to be bad. Thank you.
  • Seth Rollins is important. Mr. Rollins is Mr. Money in the bank, which means he can “cash in” and get an opportunity at the World Championship, whenever he wants. He’s basically the focal point of the Authority and more or less the biggest heel in the company at the moment. His other Authority members, Triple H, Stephanie McMahon, Kane, Jamie Noble, and Joey Mercury are all doing good work TOGETHER. Let me emphasize together, because Kane by himself isn't good work, it’s scary. Randy Orton, recently left the Authority and is now after Seth Rollins. He’s kind of going crazy and is hitting RKO’s “out of nowhere”. Randy was a vine/Internet meme for a few weeks, so I hope WWE didn't turn him face just because of the spurt of popularity he’s gained, because he’s a better heel (emphasis on better, Randy’s seemed to have lost a few steps in general) and the vines are about his viciousness anyway. But, Randy should do fine, because he’s Randy Orton.
  • Dean Ambrose is breaking through. What exactly he’s breaking, I’m not sure, but he’s becoming something. He’s exciting, he gets my attention, and I GET IT, HE’S A LUNATIC. Gosh Michael Cole needs to chill sometimes. He’s currently in a feud with Bray Wyatt. Bray Wyatt has become very dull. His promos used to be interesting, different, and deep, now they’re uninteresting, the same thing, and quasi-deep. Hey, say people will never be pleased, but Wyatt has also lost a few steps and hasn’t even been here that long. But then again, it’s not the Actor’s fault Macbeth got his head cut off.
  • The Tag team division. The Tag team division consists of Goldust and Stardust-- excuse me, Gold and Stardust, the tag team champions, The USOS, Los Matadores, Slater Gator, and I don’t even know who else. Michael Mcgillicutty and David Otunga? Yeah, the division’s been waning again, I mean they tried to revive it in 2011 and it didn't really hit its stride until 2013, and now it’s going down again. You’d think with so many wrestlers doing nothing on the roster, some more teams could be formed, despite lack of chemistry, so that there's more going on. Hey, the division’s still surviving, so I guess that’s all that counts. Well, that and the referee.
  • The Diva Division. Where to begin? Let’s start with the first Paige. Paige is currently my favorite thing about divas right now. Of all time probably, Laycool, but right now Paige. She could have had a better gimmick and whatnot, coming to Raw, but we essentially got a typical face (good guy or girl) character. Then she turned heel. She became interesting and then just like everyone apparently in the division, she became crazy. Just like the current champion AJ Lee was, and I suppose technically is. Alicia Fox, playing the role of Paige’s friend, is also crazy. At one point, Alicia was actually having a (crazy) good run as a psycho and was the focal point of the division for all of two weeks, but there’s no Nation of Domination in the WWE right now, so of course she can’t be important. I kid, but the quality of the division isn't that great. I mean, sure the women are having longer matches and more segments (thanks partly to total divas), but there’s NO STORY LINES. At least not very good ones. Naomi, Natalya, AJ, and Paige are the best "wrestlers" and the second tier consists of Alicia and Nikki Bella. That’s actually good. I think CM Punk is a good diva character—excuse me, I mean AJ is a good diva character (Well, CM Punk would probably make a good diva), but she needs others to compliment her. We can’t keep having Paige V.S AJ because it’ll become the new Randy Orton V.S Cena or Kofi V.S Ziggler. Anyway, Laycool forever.  
  • The WWE Network is the 2nd most popular person on the roster. WWE’s all about numbers. Big stars are made based on pay-per-view buys, how much merchandise you can sell, how many people you put into seats, and how few wrestling moves you can do. But the most important number this year has been nine ninety nine. That’s all you need to pay each month to watch the WWE network and pay-per-views. However, numbers are eluding the WWE network. The company hasn't quite received the amount of subscribers that they've expected to have by now and things are looking almost XFL-ish. Ish, the network seems to be doing okay, but something’s just not attracting enough people to the service. It’s free for the month of November, so the company’s getting desperate, but I hope they don’t fail. I really want WWE to be successful with this, but, some of these low numbers may have to do with the poor quality of the overall product.

Quick time:
  •  Ryback’s back and is face again. He would be a good opponent for Lesnar, but apparently only Cena can face the Champion. Anyway, I see Ryback winning a mid-card championship and becoming irrelevant again.
  • Paul Heyman is a boss, which is funny because he’s an advocate. He's currently the best talker on the roster, as is common knowledge.
  • Justin Roberts, the ring announcer, got fired for being a clean cut loyal tenured employee I guess.
  • Adam Rose’s Bunny will probably win the World Championship. 
  • Where’s Kofi Kingston?
  • Daniel Bryan should probably return at the Royal Rumble. Maybe not, I don't know.
  • Cesaro in my opinion is the second best “wrestler” on the roster.
  • The Great Khali is still wrestling.
  • Heel Mark Henry is back, feuding with face Big Show, which means Big Show will be face this time next month, after turning heel, then face, then back heel again.
  • Damien Sandow has become popular as the Miz’s stunt double, which probably makes Matt Hardy salty, seeing as he was Jeff’s.
  • Roman Reigns is resting up and feeling stronger than ever before. He’s getting better and will be back real soon to beat up Seth Rollins.
  • The Bellas.
  • I kind of miss little Jimmy.
  • Enzo Amore is my favorite person in NXT, he’s silly and entertaining. I haven’t seen them yet, but I found out that there is a team in NXT called the Vaudvillians. That’s the most amazing wrestling related thing that I have heard in a while. That’s so great, gosh NXT is so much better than Raw.
  • And finally, Jack Swagger is my favorite wrestler and BY DEFAULT he is the best wrestler in WWE. I don’t care what you say, Jack Swagger is the man and he is the love. You respect Swagger and appreciate his talents. WE THE PEOPLE.              

Thanks for reading and spending some time with me! God bless you fine people and comment if you’re into that “type” of thing.