August 25, 2015

Summerslam 2015 Examination and questions

It was one of the biggest events of the year, with amazing matches and truly wonderful moments, which exemplified why we love wrestling so much. But, enough about NXT Takeover: Brooklyn, we're here to discuss Summerslam 2015! So, I now present you, weary Wrestling fan, with The Timekeeper's initial reactions during the show, and of course opinions may change after re-watching certain moments. Not that anyone really cares about my blogging-self opinions. 

Jon Stewart's monologue
  • Ugh, an average stage set up. They just don't want to change the set again for RAW because it's in the same arena. But they've been using the same set for big events for a while.
  • Jon Stewart was one of the best guests for the WWE.
  • Keyword: was.
  • Maybe it's Mick Foley's fault? 
  • Mick Foley's beard is the biggest party of the summer. 
Randy Orton V.S Sheamus
  • A bathroom break to begin the show? I don't think that's how breaks work. 
  • Orton's bleeding. That's the brightest part of this match. 
  • Sheamus is whooping Randy's derriere.
  • Sheamus won.
  • Nice dominant finish. Go, get that interest back Sheamus.
Primetime players V.S The New Day V.S Los Matadores V.S The Lucha Dragons (WWE Tag team championship)

  • New day is too hot, singing empire state of positivity. 
  • I'd buy their album. Even if it was just forty-five minutes of them clapping.
  • Hey, Eden.  
  • I forgot that the Lucha dragons could win. I was just assuming that Primetime Players or New Day were the only possible winners. 
  • This is the best match so far. It's only the second, but the statement's still true.
  • Yes, Xavier, beat up El Torito.
  • Best championship celebration EVER. Move over Bayley.
  • Please don't lose these belts New Day, don't ever let the Primetime players bring their negativity around you again. 
Dolph Ziggler (w/ Lana) V.S Rusev (w/ Summer Rae) 
  • Ziggler thinks he'll steal the show. Hahahaha!
  • Is Lana diming or Dolphing?
  • This match is a bit better than I expected.
  • Crush him Rusev. 
  • Double count out. This should've been a mixed tag in the first place anyway
Stardust and (Cosmic) King Barrett V.S Neville and Stephen Amell
  • All hail King Barrett, seriously.
  • Stardust's diming.
  • Amell needs to put that hood shirt back on. Not diming, no. 
  • Why is Amell getting decimated so badly? 
  • I want Stardust and Wade to please win. Please.
  • Neville and Amell won.
  • Neville pins Barrett while Amell looked like a star adjace (as Peter Rosenburg would say).
Ryback V.S Big Show V.S the Miz
  • Oh no, Miz is not diming. Of course his opposition aren't looking any better than him, so I guess he gets some points?
  • This triple threat is nice so far.
  • Big Show just did a (HORRIBLE) swanton. Show-ton? Double entendre? Like, the ton part is also a reference to his weight, oh forget it this is a horrible joke. But, enough about that swanton. 
  • I actually got hyped for Miz to win after his near fall on Ryback. 
  • ...come on Miz... i mean um... I have to be indifferent because there's no former Indy wrestlers in this match in order to be cool, right? We're supposed to be indifferent right? Okay I'll stop trying to enjoy the product which I'm a fan of. 
  • Ew, Ryback won. The ending was heelish of him though (Now that I think about it, I guess we ARE supposed to be indifferent in order to be sane).
Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose V.S Bray Wyatt and Luke Harper
  • Whoa, Reigns and Ambrose making this match kind of hot right now.
  • Ambrose, silly man. Jumping off of tables and junk.
  • Spoiler: Bray loses BTW.
  • Reigns and Ambrose won.
  • Nobody turned on the other. 
  • Well that was a good RAW match. 
Seth Rollins V.S John Cena (WWE World Heavyweight Championship and US Championship) 

  • Things are gonna go from 15 to 16 real quick.
  • Wait, so Cesaro's going on later? Yay!
  • Is Rollins diming right now?! 
  • Rollins got some air with that frog splash. 
  • Nah, That figure 4 Cena did wasn't a tribute, that junk's just disrespectful. 
  • Is everyone just doing suicide dives tonight?
  • Rollins is just trying to survive (despite the suicide dives). 
  • Jon Stewart interference
  • Hmmm... he kind of gave away that he might have hit Cena. Should have just made it look like he'd hit Rollins then go and hit Cena. Not that I can tell anyone how to perform better. It's just a small thing. 
  • YES! 
  • I'm so happy that Cena didn't win. Oh, and Rollins won or whatever. But, let's not forget what's important here.
  • Oh, I forgot about the US title. 
  • I knew you wouldn't let us down Jon Stewart, sorry for doubting you earlier. 
  • Match of the night so far.
  • You can never fully enjoy these moments because you know Cena's going to get revenge.
Team Bella V.S Team P.C.B. V.S Team B.A.D. (Elimination triple threat 9-person tag team match)
  • Team B.A.D.'s gonna be overlooked in this match (and probably in general). 
  • I'm so glad Sasha's getting pops, like when she got tagged in. She's the one.
  • That dive/ jump out of the ring sequence didn't flow that well. (I think the Bellas actually had the best dive... did I just say Bellas and best within the same parentheses?) 
  • Stupid Tamina. She got the best Team eliminated.  
  • I'm guessing that Alicia's working a lot of this match because the Bellas aren't as versed in the ring as she is.
  • Team P.C.B. won
  • Becky actually scored the pin fall. Yay, she's getting some focus. Kinda. 
  • The match wasn't bad, but it's no Sasha Banks vs Bayley. Not, that it was supposed to be.  
  • Dear goodness was Sasha vs Bayley wonderful. Wrestling at it's finest. Anyway...
Kevin Owens V.S Cesaro
  • Owens doing two gruesome single matches on back to back nights.
  • Cesaro is amaaaayayyayyayzing he's a he's amaaaayayyayyayzing. 
  • Man, they're putting in work.
  • I think they tried to place a show stealing match in an appropriate time slot, but I think that when they try to book a "showstealer", it  doesn't always steal the show.
  • This is a good match, but it kind of feels like a cool down match, because of the high of the Rollins/Cena match and the anticipation for Lesnar/Taker. 
  • Owens won; a victory he deserved. Only downside is well... Cesaro had to lose.
Brock Lesnar V.S The Undertaker  
  • Undertaker, you should be diming. Why aren't you diming? 
  • Lesnar killing em'
  • Taker just went through the commentary table. CRINGE. TAKER, PLEASE BE OKAY!
  • Is Lesnar's forehead skin made out of Plastic wrap?
  • Lesnar, stop the suplexes, you're making me cringe. Cringe and or flinch, I'm not sure which.  
  • Blue pants city > suplex city
  • Taker just did a very crazy laugh at Brock Lesnar (Haha, It was muy gracioso), dude's not playing around tonight. 
  • He hit the last ride! Yay! 
  • Did Kane ring the bell? 
  • Undertaker's being very heel. Very, very heel.  
  • Lesnar bled and flipped off Taker before passing out? He must think this is a different era. One which may have consisted of attitude. 
  • Undertaker won. Via submission. And a little garnish of controversy. 
BEST ATTIRE: New Day, no doubt. That is, just the New Day, not the band No Doubt, because they didn't show up tonight. But, I'm sure they would've looked spiffy. Well, at least Gwen, not that I'd be able to name another member....   

BEST MATCH: Rollins V.S Cena. Taker V.S Lesnar was probably second best; it wasn't technical or anything like that, but it was fun. Well, aside from worrying about Taker not being okay.


Thanks for reading and spending some time with me! God bless you fine people and comment if you're into that "type" of thing. 

May 16, 2015

Notes From a WWE Live Event: Upstate New York Show

I realize blog thingys can sometime be annoying because often it's a person writing about a place they went and try to juice up their personal experience to give you a reason to read it. So keeping with tradition, I'll be doing that. The Timekeeper attended a WWE LIVE event in the less than lovely city of Rochester New York. (The last name of the city's mayor is literally Lovely so there was a slight pun to be had). The Timekeeper attended this event in March 2015, part of the "Road to Wrestlemania tour" so it occurred before Wrestlemania 31. Nonetheless, let's review the show because WWE's always interesting live... supposedly.
  • So first things first: Eden was DIMING. All Rhodes lead to Eden. Aside from the fashionable ring announcer yelling ARE YOU READY ROCHEST-A?! We got a recorded video of Triple H telling the audience about what we’d see in tonight’s proceedings. Thanks Triple H, I wasn’t sure whether we were getting curling match or not. 
Dean Ambrose V.S Wade Barrett
  • Dean Ambrose came out to what I'm calling an fairly loud pop. One can guess that the first wrestler to come out at an event usually gets a loud pop. 
  • Barrett got good heat. If anyone was ever in shape it’s that muscular peg in the squared circle, Wade Barrett, because he looks NICE. 
  • Barrett would make a good villain in an action based Saturday morning Cartoon. Or late night cartoon, if you prefer that
  • Ambrose won. 
  • It was a textbook match, nothing special, but that's what one should expect at a “house show”. 
The Bella Twins V.S AJ and Natalya.
  • People stood up for the Bellas. They got a great reaction
  • Total Divas and their quasi-celebrity status may be responsible for more people caring about and or liking the Bellas (and the adverse effect on some fans probably).
  • Natalya received a below average pop which is a shame because her theme's so pop-able in my opinion.
  • AJ got a loud reaction, not sure whether it was better than the Bellas, but AJ is clearly a star. However, I wonder how loud the reactions would be if the division was actually "given a chance". 
  • Poor Natalya. Just in general.
  • AJ got the win making one of the Bellas tap out. 
  • I wanted Paige, dang it.
  • Gracias AJ
Luke Harper V.S Dolph Ziggler
  • Harper was in his hometown, but only garnered an average pop. The gentleman is pretty tall.
  • Ziggler's pop was above average, but not all that. Kind of like...Dolph...ins. Dolphins.
  • This was a Raw quality match. Ziggler got the victory, but Harper got the last say because he kicked the show-off in the face after the match. 
Kane V.S Daniel Bryan
  • Poor Kane, he’s been taken for granted for so long that no one reacts to him.
  • Daniel Bryan got the loudest pop thus far (only Cena out-popped him).
  • Hearing everyone yessing is such an odd experience. Trance-like. 
  • Another Raw quality match. As in the wrestling show not the adjective.
  • Wouldn’t write home about this match, but a blog might suffice.
  • Daniel Bryan won.
  • Black Ref left and went backstage to switch with another referee. I wonder if it was THE Black Ref. I think it was. Respect.
Miz and Mizdow V.S Curtis Axel and Adam Rose V.S The Prime-time Players
  • Mizdow didn't really get an initial entrance pop, but he was getting crazy loud chants.
  • Miz grabbed a microphone and addressed the audience. He handed Mizdow a chair and told him to set it up in the corner. Behind Miz’s back Mizdow hesitated to hit the Miz with the chair. The audience liked that. Then Curtis Axel interrupted the Miz. Axel introduced his partner- Adam Rose. The “Rosebuds” showed up as well, I wasn't expecting that, but it’s good that some local independent wrestlers got to dress up and fake dance at a WWE event. 
  • The Prime-time Players were over, there initial reaction wasn’t all that, but people were into them. 
  • We get it guys, you want Mizdow.
  • Axel and Rose surprisingly got the victory. Then they beat everyone up and hulked up. Eden did a Hogan pose and they made the referee do one too. 
  • This was personally the Timekeeper's favorite part of the show. I’m beginning to think that if you see something like Adam Rose’s Bunny do something stupid live you'd probably enjoy it because there’s a different feel live. But one tends to dislike these types of segments on the telly because watching 3 hours of Raw feels like competing in a triathlon. 
Rusev vs Ryback
  • Lana cut a little promo and the audience responded by chanting USA. Bet you couldn't have guess that, right? 
  • Rusev got the most heat of the night.
  • Feed me more received an average pop. I mean, Ryback received an average pop.
  • This match ended in a DQ when something happened that caused a disqualification. Apathy folks. 
  • This was probably the least interesting match of the night. Thanks Ryback.
Seth Rollins V.S John Cena (Rochester Street fight)
  • Rollins received an average heel reaction with J&J security by his side. 
  • I was mostly excited to see Jamie Noble. 
  • You already know what kind of reaction Cena got. He was cheered more than booed however. He's an undeniable star. Ugh.  
  • Both competitors kicked out of the other’s finisher.
  • Cena attempted to set up a table and one of the legs broke off and he used the leg as a weapon. "Vintage improvisation by the multiple time World Champion"- Cole.
  • There's not enough snow and too much entertainment in this match for it to be a Rochester Street fight.  
  • This match was Pay-per-view quality… or WWE Network special quality if that’s what we’re supposed say.
      The Audience V.S Not getting out of the parking lot early
  • Why can't you guys just relax? Come on, you paid to watch this, don’t you want to see the ending? What’s that? Oh you know Cena will win? How do you know? Maybe he won’t. 
  • Cena won delivering an attitude adjustment to Rollins from the top rope through a table. 
  • Carry on.  
Live events apparently are better than most episodes of WWE Mainevent. One appreciates the WWE roster even more for giving their all and putting on a great non-televised show for people trying to take illegible pictures and blurry videos. Even if some parts are just dress rehearsals for bigger shows. I'm blessed that I got to attend the show and the Timekeeper recommends going to a WWE Live event (like my recommendation is going to persuade you if you already like pro-wrestling). However, try to get one where Jack Swagger's on the match card, because he's the best in the game today.  

POP of the night: Well Cena. Ugh. 

Best match of the night: Rollins V.S Cena. Ugh. 

Thanks for reading and spending some time with me! God bless you fine people and comment if you're into that "type" of thing.

March 31, 2015


I know Wrestlemania has been reviewed by various people, but has it been properly been examined? Perhaps, but if not, it still wont be here. Here are the Timekeeper's thoughts on Wrestlemania from beginning to end as the show progressed.

SLANG KEY: Diming - verb. Appearing to look good similar to that of a person who would be considered a dime. Apparel considered a ten out of ten.

·         Renee Young: the hardest working person in sports entertainment?
·         Eden’s just classy.
·         Lana says she’s never going to show compassion backstage. Taking cues from Triple H.
·         J&J security V.S Patterson and Brisco is a real dream match.
·         Corey Graves’ tattoos kind of make his knuckles and neck look really hairy from afar. Not that that’s a bad thing. But those glasses on the other hand…. But we all need to see, I understand.
·         Shove a Tom Phillips.
·         Wow, watching all these video packages I realize that Wrestlemania week is the only week WWE’s really “over” in the mainstream nowadays.
·         Two Fans came to Mania for their honeymoon. Wedding related and things involving paperwork don’t go to well around the WWE.
·         Rock’s SNL wasn’t for you WWE. It was for Fast 7. And you know that.
·         That giant Pepsi logo in the stadium… CM Punk looms over us. (Spolier: he’s actually not, he’s just watching Hockey).
·         OOH Naomi and USOs straight diming.
·         That S on the Mania stage looks kind of like a Z. Wresztlemania?
·         Natalya’s outfit isn’t as dimed as I think she wants it to be. Hey, leave me alone, Wrestlemania attire is extremely important.
·         Michael Cole’s right, it is pretty beautiful in the stadium. This is a pretty Wrestlemania. See, even Cole knows aesthetics matter. And we all know Cole always knows what he’s talking about.
·         Jey Uso didn’t just get injured, he knows he was hurt before. Don’t even play that.
·         This is the second Mania in a row that Kofi’s received the Cesaro swing.
·         Why doesn’t Jimmy just tag with Naomi since Jey’s out?
·         If New Day wins they better turn heel. They’d HAVE to turn heel.
·         Kofi should be a bigger star by now. It's just stupid, stupid.
·         Okay, Naomi just did a dive with Jimmy. Let her be the tag team champions.
·         Six person suplex powerbomb combo thingy. That’s not stealing the show, relax.
·         On another note, they’re putting on a pretty good show. Kid Ink can obviously be better than this, right?
·         Cesaro and Kidd won. As it should be.
·         Lita’s in the social media lounge with Tom “who?” Phillips. But Trish isn’t so who’s gonna carry the segment? (Chill, I'm just kidding).  
·         Booker T has a book out. Guess he’s really is a booker.

·         They just tossed Axel over. Garbage elimination.
·         Let’s go Jack Swagger, get your Wrestlemania 29 redemption.
·         Be quiet commentators, BIG SHOW DOES NOT NEED THIS VICTORY.
·         If Mr. McMahon let Yoshi Tatsu win a battle royal at WM 26, then he can surely let Hideo Itami win this. Because they’re Japanese.That's a factor in the WWE. 
·         Poor Goldust. He could’ve been in a singles match.
·         Is Miz the king of pre-shows?
·         Cesaro’s only in this match because someone still wants him to take a loss tonight.
·         WHY is Big Show dominating?Cody Rhodes gave him his Mania moment at Wrestlemania 28. So what if he’s never won a battle royal? He can win one on Smackdown.
·         Mizdow alone in the ring with Show. Mizdow is radiantly glowing. The sign of a hero?
·         Big Show won. Mizdow/Sandow will be fine. Right?

·         Aloe Blacc’s performing America the beautiful. Please Rusev.
·         LL Cool J is an orator in that opening video package. A lip licking orator.
·         Bryan’s not diming at all.
·         Barrett’s cape isn’t all that either. Why isn’t he coming out last? Champions should either come out first or last. Shouldn’t they?
·         Stardust’s attire’s on point.
·         R-Truth’s actually over. Crowd loves their entertaining characters.
·         Wait never-mind, Ambrose is way more over than Truth.
·         Ziggler’s not the dark horse Cole, R-Truth is.
·          Stardust’s Starbird ladder > Big Show’s “I’m not Andre” ladder.
·         Barrett is DEMOLISHING people with that ladder rung. People are getting beaten by a ladder rung. Tread on that for a second.
·         This match is feeling a little like a spot match. Not a lot though, just a little.
·         Stardust please do a beautiful disaster kick to someone on top of a ladder. I don’t know how, just please.
·         Ziggler just ran up a ladder. I understand adrenaline, but wasn't he just limping up the ladder within the first 5 minutes?
·         Bryan’s always been in a title match at all of the Wrestlemania’s he’s been in.
·         Bryan wins. It was a good match, but not as bonkers has many people had predicted.

·         Orton’s just in his red trunks of old. He could dress up a bit more. Does anyone else think that Orton wearing elbow pads kind of ironically make him look naked?
·         I don’t know Cole, Rollins' is more like a young Edge rather than a young Orton to me. Maybe it’s just the hair length. It’s just the hair length.
·         I know it’s Wrestlemania and everyone can kick out of finishers, but Rollins kicking out of an RKO just shocked me.
·         Taker, Cena, and Lesnar are in matches tonight. They’re gonna overdue the finisher kick-out thing tonight aren’t they?
·         Orton wins. That Curb stomp to RKO reversal man. That was amazing.
·         Hmmm, the faces just may own the night tonight. Looking at the card I don’t think many heels are winning.
·          Shot of Rousey having fun ringside. This shot was longer than her fight against Zigano.

·         Sting looks fresh. Like the old martial arts master returning to competition to avenge his son. Common literary convention you know. He also looks like a dad with face paint on.
·         Triple H did this terminator entrance like that because he wants to become mocked on the internet.
·         Expect Robocop to make the run in save.
·         Sting suddenly looks like a small child across from Triple H.
·         DX just ran out. Of breath that is.
·         Sting just did the laziest kick out from a pedigree just now.
·         NWO. This match may have needed run ins. But, no problem it’s pretty fun.
·         SHAWN! SHAWN!
·         Triple H wins. Poor Sting, he could’ve lost to Undertaker instead.
·         Booker T felt that loss.
·         WCW just can’t catch a break.
·         Expected the NWO to turn on Sting just now, but Sting and HHH shook hands just now. Eww.
·         Since Shawn Michaels retired, he’s been turning face and heel almost at Big Show rates every time he returns.

·         The new WWE Network line up was just advertised. The network’s entering its attitude era apparently.
·         Maria Menounos is backstage. I’m glad to see her being so happy to be a fan.
·         Bryan just got interviewed and a bunch of legends congratulated him. Steamboat lied about the ladder match being as good as Steamboat Savage. Patterson gave him a pat on the back. Flair got the biggest pop. Bret Hart began a yes chant. And Roddy Piper didn’t look too drunk. Ron Simmons, closed us out of course.
·         Skylar Grey’s performing. I think the song she’s singing consists of just chorus.
·         Kid Ink’s rapping. Please Rusev.
·         Wait, the women’s’ match is next? So Undertaker’s going to be the cool off match between the US and WWE title matches?

·         Paige added a little flare to her attire (no Charlotte) but nothing too glitzy.
·         I hope AJ hasn’t lost her smile.
·        The Divas didn’t really dress special tonight/day.
·         Welp.
·         AJ and Paige won. I think HHH just won earlier to have another heel win tonight, because like I said, I think it’s going to be face victory heavy tonight.

·         Hall of fame recap segment. Alundra Blayze stole the show to me.  
·         Howard Finkel: Eat. Sleep. Announce Hall of famers then Disappear. Repeat.
·         I think WWE could’ve squeezed the tag match on the show’s main card around now. It’s kind of been the intermission for a few minutes now.

·         Lana is DIMING.
·         The crowd will cheer for the USA but they’re booing John Cena. They should know the USA only puts Presidents over.
·         EDEN IS DIMING (as well) as she's ring announcing. Cena’s not however.
·         This match is slow then fast. Fast than slow. It’s slow.
·         Lana threw her heel in the ring. She should know heels have no effect on John Cena.
·         NO! I felt really bad for Lana when she just took that bump.
·         It’s cliché at this point to say John Cena won right?
·         And the crowd goes indifferent.
·         Ryback would’ve been better.
·         Watch Cena unite the mid-card titles beating Bryan eventually.

·         Video packages of the pre-show matches. Kid Ink would’ve fit quite well in a video package with Skylar Grey.
·         76,976 fans in attendance according to Triple H and Stephanie in the ring. They also told us Tout was good.
·         Who’s coming out?
·         Sheamus? Rousey? Rock?
·         ROCK! Called it one second before the IF YA SA-MELL.
·         Rock does work, flying from SNL to mania like that.
·         Rock’s currently going through the motions.
·         Rock’s “leaving” after getting smacked. I think Rikishi’s gonna come out and stink face Steph and HHH.
·         The crowd’s chanting Rousey! AHHH!! YES! YES!
·         Showtime!
·         Rousey’s in the ring with a Dragon Ball Z shirt.
·         Rousey just went Super Saiyan.
·         They killed a lot of time, but that was a good moment.
·         Lawler keeps saying everything’s a mania moment. Mania moments have jumped the shark.
·         WWE's coming for those next day headlines.
·         Wait Where’s LL though?

·         Bray’s entrance is pretty cool. But why are Undertaker and his shadow clones walking out behind Bray?
·         What if Taker just no-showed Mania
·         It’s not dark enough at the stadium for a Taker entrance.
·         Please wrestle with the hat on Taker. Aesthetics. 
·         Taker legitimately looks like Kane’s brother. Which kind of means he looks like an average man.
·         Watching Undertaker, I think that we've witnessed a competitor go from their prime to their post retirement self without them actually retiring.
·         Who can’t kickout of a tombstone nowadays?
·         Sit up V.S crab-walk. That was awesome. And yes commentary team, we know it’s a Wrestlemania moment.
·         Taker wins.
·         Wait, the Undertaker can win at Wrestlemania? Who knew?

·         Why would Reigns come through the audience?
·         Brock Lesnar is the true prince of Saiyans.
·         Lesnar’s in his Suplex state of mind.
·         What if Reigns just won with a roll up?
·         THERE’S BLOOD.
·         NOOOO SPEAR.
·         YES!!!
·         AHHHHHHHH!
·         Forgot about booking decisions and all that stuff, just enjoyed that match.
·         That was a show.
·         Fun. Entertaining. Captivating. Intense.
·         Thank you WWE.

BEST ATTIRE: Lana. Cody came close but, Lana’s the best over all. Dressed up to the nines and shined like a dime.

BEST ENTRANCE: Rusev. The Russians win in the aesthetic department today. Well, people portraying Russians. Was way better than the 2014 Sochi Olympics opening ceremony.

BEST MATCH: Lesnar V.S Reigns (V.S Rollins). Rare that the main-event is the best match on a Mania, because usually someone steals the show before then. But this match was good and fun. Sting and Triple H was just fun, which isn't bad, but just not good and fun. Orton and Rollins probably had the moment of the night with their ending RKO spot (rivaled by Ronda Rousey and Rollins himself, cashing in later on). But the main-event was excellent. It was Peanut butter and Cheese or whatever.  

Thanks for reading and spending some time with me! God bless you fine people and comment if you're into that "type" of thing. 

January 28, 2015

Royal Rumble 2015 and other drugs

Watching the Royal Rumble, WWE fans were sent on an emotional elevator ride as the most exciting 30 plus minutes in sports entertainment went occurred. I just didn't want to say roller coaster ride... elevators have their ups and downs too. The WWE world heavyweight championship match  (an instant classic in the eyes of many) was probably a more overall exhilarating 20 plus minutes, but let's focus on the Rumble match. I'm going to break down my thoughts entrant by entrant from WWE's third biggest PPV of the year, the 28th Royal Rumble.

  1. The Miz. He's only here to have a funny elimination moment with Sandow 
  2. R-Truth. He has no chance of winning.
    Remember when R-Truth was entertaining and almost won the WWE championship? Mr. McMahon doesn't.
    Do the commentators remember anything? They can make Bette Davis references but they can't mention that Miz and R-Truth were once in a tag team? Knowing History is a good thing.
  3. Bubba Ray Dudley. Wow, didn't expect that. I honestly didn't see him returning to WWE again. Oh yeah, I remember, money. Feels like a one off appearance though.
    When did Devon braid his hair? I thought Devon didn't even have hair.
    Well Miz got eliminated, I guess there's no Mizdow spot then.
  4. Luke Harper.
  5. Bray Wyatt. He'll be in the last four. Probably lose though.
    Hey, the Wyatt family's working together, maybe it'll make Bray a little less boring again.
  6. Curtis Axel -Gets taken out by Erick Rowan and Rowan takes his spot. HAHA, that was the only thing Rowan's done so far that I've liked. That was good Axel personifies jobber.
    Whoa, the Wyatts are squaring off! Or triangling off I suppose.
    That amounted to nothing. Weak eliminations by Wyatt
  7. Boogeyman. YES! Why can't he have worms? Are worms not PG?
    The eater of worms. Yes Cole I guess you could call him the eater of worms.
    Why'd he get eliminated so fast?!
    Wyatt's dominating like CM Punk did early on in the 2010 Royal Rumble.
  8. Sin Cara. Another fast elimination.
    Wyatt's got the mic. Now it's really like CM Punk in 2010.
    Someone big's coming out next, it's gotta be Bryan.
  9. Zack Ryder. Forgive me, I have lied. However, Ryder did get a nice pop.
    Another fast elimination, let the ring fill up dang-it.
  10. Daniel Bryan. There he is! I was close.
  11. Fandango. Okay everyone's about to be schooled! Sorry, I got hype. I like Fandango. 
  12. Tyson Kidd. Hope he has a good showing, I'm beginning to like he and his cat loving gimmick. 
  13. Stardust. Cole why can't you just make small notes of history? I know this is Stardust's first rumble, but it's not Cody Rhodes'. Cody technically turned into Stardust according to the story line, he's not playing a brand new individual- just a different gimmick. He still has history. Just say "this is Stardust's first rumble, however, he has competed in the match before, back when he was Cody Rhodes, actually lasting to the final four in 2009." It doesn't help me because I know that, but other people may want to know. Then again, they probably don't really care.
    Well Tyson got eliminated, so much for cat. 
  14. Diamond Dallas Page. He's about to go in the ring and save every wrestler's life in that ring. That was the best DDP yoga joke I could do.
    Is the Rock coming out tonight? He's reportedly in Philly and WWE's in Philly. He's gonna come out in sweats and eliminate Rusev right? Or vice versa. I mean I want to see current guys wrestle, but I also hope he shows up. You know, because electricity.
    Daniel Bryan just did a suicide dive to Wyatt to the outside. I get that he's not eliminated, but why do that? It's risky. Yeah, I know sometimes you gotta take risks, whatever. 
  15. Rusev. OKAY, BUSINESS IS ABOUT TO PICK UP. I popped for Rusev, I hope he does good in this match.
    WHAT? Daniel Bryan got eliminated by Wyatt like nothing. Did he really get eliminated?That's really odd. Why so... nonchalant? Well, the show must go on I suppose.
  16. Goldust. Now there are Daniel Bryan chants. This isn't going to be good for the rest of the show. I guess Reigns is the only realistic winner left in the match. If only they'd go with Rusev.
  17. Kofi Kingston. Hope you have some fresh ideas on how to stay in, my friend. 
  18. Adam Rose. I read a comment a while back where someone said Rose is just gonna fall back on the Rosebuds, if he gets tossed out, and then put back in the ring. That's gotta be why all of the Rosebuds are out here now, right?
    Okay, I guess Kofi gets to do Rose's spot. Well it kind of happened.
    Kofi just got eliminated?! Wait, so his crazy survive spot, wasn't even HIS crazy survive spot? Why would the rosebuds even put him back in the ring? Drunkards. 
  19. Roman Reigns. I kind of just want him to get booed. I mean I wanted this whole Roman Reigns as the next face of WWE thing to work, but this isn't good. Reigns just isn't cut out to win this rumble, I mean... hopefully they call an audible before the end. 
  20. Big E. Defiant chants against this Rumble. Go ahead Philly. 
  21. Mizdow. Wait, maybe we can still get a Mizdow/ Miz spot.
    Eh, it was okay. Mizdow got a big reaction however. 
  22. Jack Swagger. SHOWTIME BOYS AND GIRLS! Swagger's gonna rock this rumble. Show them all how to funky!
    I know, he's not winning anything tonight. 
  23. Ryback. Wow, weak pop. He was over at the 2013 rumble. Then again Reigns was too in 2014. Hmm, wonder why Ryback wasn't set to win last year?
    Swagger and Ryback just got a piece of Rusev (who's surprisingly still in). That means the Rock's gotta be next right? 
  24. Kane. This crap. This crap is not the Rock. Oh how far Kane has fallen. Still respect and a appreciate you though. 
  25. Dean Ambrose. Yes, let's bring this Pay Per View back alive.
    The ring is decently filled with people now.
  26. Titus O'Neil. Titus needs a proverbial push. He's got Charisma and is decent in the ring, common give him a chance.
    WHAT THE! They just eliminated Titus in five seconds. That was some bad irony. I didn't expect that. Only because Big E's still in that ring will I believe it's not because Titus is black. That hurt man. 
  27. Wade Barrett. Yes, presence! He came out with a cape. Save us Wade.
    He tossed down his intercontinental Championship a bid hard there. You might want to hang on to that, that's all you've got. And a bull-hammer or whatever.
    We still have Big Show and Ziggler left to come out... there's gonna be no Rock huh? 
  28. Cesaro. Yes, Cesaro would be good to be a winner. 
  29. Big Show. Big Show, people only pop when you return after long absences. Thus to make people care, you need long absences.
    I always feel like Kane should've won a royal rumble.
    Who's next? Ziggler? Rock? Oh yeah, it could be Randy! 
  30. Dolph Ziggler. ...Well, the crowd popped for him. Well, this has been a weak Rumble
Well, here we go
  • Wait, Swagger go eliminated and I didn't care? He's still my favorite Wrestler, I swear. 
  • Big Show and Kane basically just killed Ziggler. Why are Big Show and Kane still in here? 
  • Why did two heels just eliminate Wyatt? Does the WWE not notice that fans like Daniel Bryan? Let a face get at Wyatt... well other than Reigns. His lip is bleeding right now, so his face actually isn't the best right now.
  • Ambrose, PLEASE WIN. You're the last hope (it's just Big Show, Kane, Reigns, and Ambrose). I mean, you weren't my first pick, but it's like after your character gets eliminated in the video game royal rumble and you have to choose another character to be and you choose a random jobber, like A Train. Except Ambrose isn't actually a jobber. And this real life rumble is more scripted than the video game one. We need to have a fun match at Wrestlemania, win Ambrose!
  • NOOOOOOOO! Ambrose was eliminated. Darn you Big Show and Kane. Yeah, you guys are heels and doing your job, but that's not why I'm mad at you, it's because you're letting Reigns win. Reigns, if you would've won last year, it would be okay then. People, it's not because it's going to be Reigns, it's because it's not a captivating opponent for Lesnar.
  • There's a BS chant, makes sense.
  • Please let there be a 31st entrant
  • Maybe Kane can pull this off. 
  • Cena show up and win!
  • Curtis Axel come back and win!
  • Undertaker show up!
  • Lucy, move the football!
  • Anything!         
  • Wait, Kane and Big Show are beating down Roman now. Someone's gotta save him. Randy? The Rock?
  • THE ROCK! 
  • Okay, he saved Reigns, but you didn't change the result, FIX THIS rocky! This is your responsibility. 
  • NOOOOOOOO! Reigns has officially won the Royal Rumble.
  • Too weak WWE, too weak. 
  • The Rock's electricity won't rub off on you IF THAT'S WHAT YOU BELIEVE, ROMAN.
  • 2012's Rumble was worse, in my opinion, because I didn't feel much emotion during it. 
  • Well boys and girls, I guess it's Reigns V.S Lesnar V.S Daniel Bryan at Wrestlemania 31. 

Thanks for reading and spending some time with me! God bless you fine people and comment if you're into that "type" of thing.