WWE WRESTLEMANIA PLAY (31): EXAMINATIONS & QUESTIONS

I know Wrestlemania has been reviewed by various people, but has it been properly been examined? Perhaps, but if not, it still wont be here. Here are the Timekeeper's thoughts on Wrestlemania from beginning to end as the show progressed.

SLANG KEY: Diming - verb. Appearing to look good similar to that of a person who would be considered a dime. Apparel considered a ten out of ten.

PRE-SHOW

·         Renee Young: the hardest working person in sports entertainment?

·         Eden’s just classy.

·         Lana says she’s never going to show compassion backstage. Taking cues from Triple H.

·         J&J security V.S Patterson and Brisco is a real dream match.

·         Corey Graves’ tattoos kind of make his knuckles and neck look really hairy from afar. Not that that’s a bad thing. But those glasses on the other hand…. But we all need to see, I understand.

·         Shove a Tom Phillips.

·         Wow, watching all these video packages I realize that Wrestlemania week is the only week WWE’s really “over” in the mainstream nowadays.

·         Two Fans came to Mania for their honeymoon. Wedding related and things involving paperwork don’t go to well around the WWE.

·         Rock’s SNL wasn’t for you WWE. It was for Fast 7. And you know that.

·         That giant Pepsi logo in the stadium… CM Punk looms over us. (Spolier: he’s actually not, he’s just watching Hockey).

·          

TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP: TYSON KIDD & CESARO V.S THE NEW DAY V.S THE USOS V.S LOS MATADORES

·         OOH Naomi and USOs straight diming.

·         That S on the Mania stage looks kind of like a Z. Wresztlemania?

·         Natalya’s outfit isn’t as dimed as I think she wants it to be. Hey, leave me alone, Wrestlemania attire is extremely important.

·         Michael Cole’s right, it is pretty beautiful in the stadium. This is a pretty Wrestlemania. See, even Cole knows aesthetics matter. And we all know Cole always knows what he’s talking about.

·         Jey Uso didn’t just get injured, he knows he was hurt before. Don’t even play that.

·         This is the second Mania in a row that Kofi’s received the Cesaro swing.

·         Why doesn’t Jimmy just tag with Naomi since Jey’s out?

·         If New Day wins they better turn heel. They’d HAVE to turn heel.

·         Kofi should be a bigger star by now. It's just stupid, stupid.

·         Okay, Naomi just did a dive with Jimmy. Let her be the tag team champions.

·         Six person suplex powerbomb combo thingy. That’s not stealing the show, relax.

·         On another note, they’re putting on a pretty good show. Kid Ink can obviously be better than this, right?

·         Cesaro and Kidd won. As it should be.

·         Lita’s in the social media lounge with Tom “who?” Phillips. But Trish isn’t so who’s gonna carry the segment? (Chill, I'm just kidding).  

·         Booker T has a book out. Guess he’s really is a booker.

ANDRE THE GIANT MEMORIAL BATTLE ROYAL

·         They just tossed Axel over. Garbage elimination.

·         Let’s go Jack Swagger, get your Wrestlemania 29 redemption.

·         Be quiet commentators, BIG SHOW DOES NOT NEED THIS VICTORY.

·         If Mr. McMahon let Yoshi Tatsu win a battle royal at WM 26, then he can surely let Hideo Itami win this. Because they’re Japanese.That's a factor in the WWE. 

·         Poor Goldust. He could’ve been in a singles match.

·         Is Miz the king of pre-shows?

·         Cesaro’s only in this match because someone still wants him to take a loss tonight.

·         WHY is Big Show dominating?Cody Rhodes gave him his Mania moment at Wrestlemania 28. So what if he’s never won a battle royal? He can win one on Smackdown.

·         Mizdow alone in the ring with Show. Mizdow is radiantly glowing. The sign of a hero?

·         Big Show won. Mizdow/Sandow will be fine. Right?

ACTUAL WRESTLEMANIA

·         Aloe Blacc’s performing America the beautiful. Please Rusev.

·         LL Cool J is an orator in that opening video package. A lip licking orator.

·         Bryan’s not diming at all.

·         Barrett’s cape isn’t all that either. Why isn’t he coming out last? Champions should either come out first or last. Shouldn’t they?

·         Stardust’s attire’s on point.

·         R-Truth’s actually over. Crowd loves their entertaining characters.

·         Wait never-mind, Ambrose is way more over than Truth.

·         Ziggler’s not the dark horse Cole, R-Truth is.

·          Stardust’s Starbird ladder > Big Show’s “I’m not Andre” ladder.

·         Barrett is DEMOLISHING people with that ladder rung. People are getting beaten by a ladder rung. Tread on that for a second.

·         This match is feeling a little like a spot match. Not a lot though, just a little.

·         Stardust please do a beautiful disaster kick to someone on top of a ladder. I don’t know how, just please.

·         Ziggler just ran up a ladder. I understand adrenaline, but wasn't he just limping up the ladder within the first 5 minutes?

·         Bryan’s always been in a title match at all of the Wrestlemania’s he’s been in.

·         Bryan wins. It was a good match, but not as bonkers has many people had predicted.

RANDY ORTON V.S SETH ROLLINS

·         Orton’s just in his red trunks of old. He could dress up a bit more. Does anyone else think that Orton wearing elbow pads kind of ironically make him look naked?

·         I don’t know Cole, Rollins' is more like a young Edge rather than a young Orton to me. Maybe it’s just the hair length. It’s just the hair length.

·         I know it’s Wrestlemania and everyone can kick out of finishers, but Rollins kicking out of an RKO just shocked me.

·         Taker, Cena, and Lesnar are in matches tonight. They’re gonna overdue the finisher kick-out thing tonight aren’t they?

·         OHH MY GOSH. THAT RKO WAS HOT!!! OH MY GOSH!!!!

·         Orton wins. That Curb stomp to RKO reversal man. That was amazing.

·         Hmmm, the faces just may own the night tonight. Looking at the card I don’t think many heels are winning.

·          Shot of Rousey having fun ringside. This shot was longer than her fight against Zigano.

STING V.S TRIPLE H

·         Sting looks fresh. Like the old martial arts master returning to competition to avenge his son. Common literary convention you know. He also looks like a dad with face paint on.

·         Triple H did this terminator entrance like that because he wants to become mocked on the internet.

·         Expect Robocop to make the run in save.

·         Sting suddenly looks like a small child across from Triple H.

·         DX just ran out. Of breath that is.

·         Sting just did the laziest kick out from a pedigree just now.

·         NWO. This match may have needed run ins. But, no problem it’s pretty fun.

·         SHAWN! SHAWN!

·         Triple H wins. Poor Sting, he could’ve lost to Undertaker instead.

·         Booker T felt that loss.

·         WCW just can’t catch a break.

·         Expected the NWO to turn on Sting just now, but Sting and HHH shook hands just now. Eww.

·         Since Shawn Michaels retired, he’s been turning face and heel almost at Big Show rates every time he returns.

·         The new WWE Network line up was just advertised. The network’s entering its attitude era apparently.

·         Maria Menounos is backstage. I’m glad to see her being so happy to be a fan.

·         Bryan just got interviewed and a bunch of legends congratulated him. Steamboat lied about the ladder match being as good as Steamboat Savage. Patterson gave him a pat on the back. Flair got the biggest pop. Bret Hart began a yes chant. And Roddy Piper didn’t look too drunk. Ron Simmons, closed us out of course.

·         Skylar Grey’s performing. I think the song she’s singing consists of just chorus.

·         Kid Ink’s rapping. Please Rusev.

·         Wait, the women’s’ match is next? So Undertaker’s going to be the cool off match between the US and WWE title matches?

AJ Lee & PAIGE V.S THE BELLAS

·         Paige added a little flare to her attire (no Charlotte) but nothing too glitzy.

·         I hope AJ hasn’t lost her smile.

·        The Divas didn’t really dress special tonight/day.

·         Welp.

·         AJ and Paige won. I think HHH just won earlier to have another heel win tonight, because like I said, I think it’s going to be face victory heavy tonight.

·         Hall of fame recap segment. Alundra Blayze stole the show to me.  

·         Howard Finkel: Eat. Sleep. Announce Hall of famers then Disappear. Repeat.

·         I think WWE could’ve squeezed the tag match on the show’s main card around now. It’s kind of been the intermission for a few minutes now.

UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP: RUSEV V.S JOHN CENA

·         RUSEV’S ENTRANCE IS BOSS. I mean CZAR.

·         Lana is DIMING.

·         The crowd will cheer for the USA but they’re booing John Cena. They should know the USA only puts Presidents over.

·         EDEN IS DIMING (as well) as she's ring announcing. Cena’s not however.

·         This match is slow then fast. Fast than slow. It’s slow.

·         Lana threw her heel in the ring. She should know heels have no effect on John Cena.

·         NO! I felt really bad for Lana when she just took that bump.

·         It’s cliché at this point to say John Cena won right?

·         And the crowd goes indifferent.

·         Ryback would’ve been better.

·         Watch Cena unite the mid-card titles beating Bryan eventually.

·         Video packages of the pre-show matches. Kid Ink would’ve fit quite well in a video package with Skylar Grey.

·         76,976 fans in attendance according to Triple H and Stephanie in the ring. They also told us Tout was good.

·         Who’s coming out?

·         Sheamus? Rousey? Rock?

·         ROCK! Called it one second before the IF YA SA-MELL.

·         Rock does work, flying from SNL to mania like that.

·         Rock’s currently going through the motions.

·         Rock’s “leaving” after getting smacked. I think Rikishi’s gonna come out and stink face Steph and HHH.

·         The crowd’s chanting Rousey! AHHH!! YES! YES!

·         Showtime!

·         Rousey’s in the ring with a Dragon Ball Z shirt.

·         Rousey just went Super Saiyan.

·         They killed a lot of time, but that was a good moment.

·         Lawler keeps saying everything’s a mania moment. Mania moments have jumped the shark.

·         WWE's coming for those next day headlines.

·         Wait Where’s LL though?

BRAY WYATT V.S UNDERTAKER

·         Bray’s entrance is pretty cool. But why are Undertaker and his shadow clones walking out behind Bray?

·         What if Taker just no-showed Mania

·         It’s not dark enough at the stadium for a Taker entrance.

·         Please wrestle with the hat on Taker. Aesthetics. 

·         Taker legitimately looks like Kane’s brother. Which kind of means he looks like an average man.

·         Watching Undertaker, I think that we've witnessed a competitor go from their prime to their post retirement self without them actually retiring.

·         Who can’t kickout of a tombstone nowadays?

·         Sit up V.S crab-walk. That was awesome. And yes commentary team, we know it’s a Wrestlemania moment.

·         Taker wins.

·         Wait, the Undertaker can win at Wrestlemania? Who knew?

WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP: BROCK LESNAR V.S ROMAN REIGNS

·         Why would Reigns come through the audience?

·         Brock Lesnar is the true prince of Saiyans.

·         Lesnar’s in his Suplex state of mind.

·         What if Reigns just won with a roll up?

·         THERE’S BLOOD.

·         REF, PUT THAT GLOVE AWAY

·         WHY IS REIGNS COMING BACK WITH THESE PUNCHES?

·         STOP THIS GARBAGE COMEBACK FROM REIGNS, LESNAR

·         NOOOO SPEAR.

·         LESNAR KICKED OUT!

·          ROLLINS RUNNING DOWN THAT RAMP WAS A MANIA MOMENT.

·         YES!!!

·         TRIPLE THREAT MATCH!

·         THIS IS AMAZING

·         THE CROWD, THE INTENSITY, AHHHHHHHHHH!

·         LESNAR’S STILL GONNA WIN HE’S GOT ROLLINS UP FOR THE F-5

·         AHHHHHHHH!

·         ROLLINS WINS!!!! NEW WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!!!!

·         WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

·         Forgot about booking decisions and all that stuff, just enjoyed that match.

·         That was a show.

·         Fun. Entertaining. Captivating. Intense.

·         Thank you WWE.

BEST ATTIRE: Lana. Cody came close but, Lana’s the best over all. Dressed up to the nines and shined like a dime.

BEST ENTRANCE: Rusev. The Russians win in the aesthetic department today. Well, people portraying Russians. Was way better than the 2014 Sochi Olympics opening ceremony.

BEST MATCH: Lesnar V.S Reigns (V.S Rollins). Rare that the main-event is the best match on a Mania, because usually someone steals the show before then. But this match was good and fun. Sting and Triple H was just fun, which isn't bad, but just not good and fun. Orton and Rollins probably had the moment of the night with their ending RKO spot (rivaled by Ronda Rousey and Rollins himself, cashing in later on). But the main-event was excellent. It was Peanut butter and Cheese or whatever.  

Thanks for reading and spending some time with me! God bless you fine people and comment if you're into that "type" of thing.