January 28, 2015

Royal Rumble 2015 and other drugs

Watching the Royal Rumble, WWE fans were sent on an emotional elevator ride as the most exciting 30 plus minutes in sports entertainment went occurred. I just didn't want to say roller coaster ride... elevators have their ups and downs too. The WWE world heavyweight championship match  (an instant classic in the eyes of many) was probably a more overall exhilarating 20 plus minutes, but let's focus on the Rumble match. I'm going to break down my thoughts entrant by entrant from WWE's third biggest PPV of the year, the 28th Royal Rumble.

  1. The Miz. He's only here to have a funny elimination moment with Sandow 
  2. R-Truth. He has no chance of winning.
    Remember when R-Truth was entertaining and almost won the WWE championship? Mr. McMahon doesn't.
    Do the commentators remember anything? They can make Bette Davis references but they can't mention that Miz and R-Truth were once in a tag team? Knowing History is a good thing.
  3. Bubba Ray Dudley. Wow, didn't expect that. I honestly didn't see him returning to WWE again. Oh yeah, I remember, money. Feels like a one off appearance though.
    When did Devon braid his hair? I thought Devon didn't even have hair.
    Well Miz got eliminated, I guess there's no Mizdow spot then.
  4. Luke Harper.
  5. Bray Wyatt. He'll be in the last four. Probably lose though.
    Hey, the Wyatt family's working together, maybe it'll make Bray a little less boring again.
  6. Curtis Axel -Gets taken out by Erick Rowan and Rowan takes his spot. HAHA, that was the only thing Rowan's done so far that I've liked. That was good Axel personifies jobber.
    Whoa, the Wyatts are squaring off! Or triangling off I suppose.
    That amounted to nothing. Weak eliminations by Wyatt
  7. Boogeyman. YES! Why can't he have worms? Are worms not PG?
    The eater of worms. Yes Cole I guess you could call him the eater of worms.
    Why'd he get eliminated so fast?!
    Wyatt's dominating like CM Punk did early on in the 2010 Royal Rumble.
  8. Sin Cara. Another fast elimination.
    Wyatt's got the mic. Now it's really like CM Punk in 2010.
    Someone big's coming out next, it's gotta be Bryan.
  9. Zack Ryder. Forgive me, I have lied. However, Ryder did get a nice pop.
    Another fast elimination, let the ring fill up dang-it.
  10. Daniel Bryan. There he is! I was close.
  11. Fandango. Okay everyone's about to be schooled! Sorry, I got hype. I like Fandango. 
  12. Tyson Kidd. Hope he has a good showing, I'm beginning to like he and his cat loving gimmick. 
  13. Stardust. Cole why can't you just make small notes of history? I know this is Stardust's first rumble, but it's not Cody Rhodes'. Cody technically turned into Stardust according to the story line, he's not playing a brand new individual- just a different gimmick. He still has history. Just say "this is Stardust's first rumble, however, he has competed in the match before, back when he was Cody Rhodes, actually lasting to the final four in 2009." It doesn't help me because I know that, but other people may want to know. Then again, they probably don't really care.
    Well Tyson got eliminated, so much for cat. 
  14. Diamond Dallas Page. He's about to go in the ring and save every wrestler's life in that ring. That was the best DDP yoga joke I could do.
    Is the Rock coming out tonight? He's reportedly in Philly and WWE's in Philly. He's gonna come out in sweats and eliminate Rusev right? Or vice versa. I mean I want to see current guys wrestle, but I also hope he shows up. You know, because electricity.
    Daniel Bryan just did a suicide dive to Wyatt to the outside. I get that he's not eliminated, but why do that? It's risky. Yeah, I know sometimes you gotta take risks, whatever. 
  15. Rusev. OKAY, BUSINESS IS ABOUT TO PICK UP. I popped for Rusev, I hope he does good in this match.
    WHAT? Daniel Bryan got eliminated by Wyatt like nothing. Did he really get eliminated?That's really odd. Why so... nonchalant? Well, the show must go on I suppose.
  16. Goldust. Now there are Daniel Bryan chants. This isn't going to be good for the rest of the show. I guess Reigns is the only realistic winner left in the match. If only they'd go with Rusev.
  17. Kofi Kingston. Hope you have some fresh ideas on how to stay in, my friend. 
  18. Adam Rose. I read a comment a while back where someone said Rose is just gonna fall back on the Rosebuds, if he gets tossed out, and then put back in the ring. That's gotta be why all of the Rosebuds are out here now, right?
    Okay, I guess Kofi gets to do Rose's spot. Well it kind of happened.
    Kofi just got eliminated?! Wait, so his crazy survive spot, wasn't even HIS crazy survive spot? Why would the rosebuds even put him back in the ring? Drunkards. 
  19. Roman Reigns. I kind of just want him to get booed. I mean I wanted this whole Roman Reigns as the next face of WWE thing to work, but this isn't good. Reigns just isn't cut out to win this rumble, I mean... hopefully they call an audible before the end. 
  20. Big E. Defiant chants against this Rumble. Go ahead Philly. 
  21. Mizdow. Wait, maybe we can still get a Mizdow/ Miz spot.
    Eh, it was okay. Mizdow got a big reaction however. 
  22. Jack Swagger. SHOWTIME BOYS AND GIRLS! Swagger's gonna rock this rumble. Show them all how to funky!
    I know, he's not winning anything tonight. 
  23. Ryback. Wow, weak pop. He was over at the 2013 rumble. Then again Reigns was too in 2014. Hmm, wonder why Ryback wasn't set to win last year?
    Swagger and Ryback just got a piece of Rusev (who's surprisingly still in). That means the Rock's gotta be next right? 
  24. Kane. This crap. This crap is not the Rock. Oh how far Kane has fallen. Still respect and a appreciate you though. 
  25. Dean Ambrose. Yes, let's bring this Pay Per View back alive.
    The ring is decently filled with people now.
  26. Titus O'Neil. Titus needs a proverbial push. He's got Charisma and is decent in the ring, common give him a chance.
    WHAT THE! They just eliminated Titus in five seconds. That was some bad irony. I didn't expect that. Only because Big E's still in that ring will I believe it's not because Titus is black. That hurt man. 
  27. Wade Barrett. Yes, presence! He came out with a cape. Save us Wade.
    He tossed down his intercontinental Championship a bid hard there. You might want to hang on to that, that's all you've got. And a bull-hammer or whatever.
    We still have Big Show and Ziggler left to come out... there's gonna be no Rock huh? 
  28. Cesaro. Yes, Cesaro would be good to be a winner. 
  29. Big Show. Big Show, people only pop when you return after long absences. Thus to make people care, you need long absences.
    I always feel like Kane should've won a royal rumble.
    Who's next? Ziggler? Rock? Oh yeah, it could be Randy! 
  30. Dolph Ziggler. ...Well, the crowd popped for him. Well, this has been a weak Rumble
Well, here we go
  • Wait, Swagger go eliminated and I didn't care? He's still my favorite Wrestler, I swear. 
  • Big Show and Kane basically just killed Ziggler. Why are Big Show and Kane still in here? 
  • Why did two heels just eliminate Wyatt? Does the WWE not notice that fans like Daniel Bryan? Let a face get at Wyatt... well other than Reigns. His lip is bleeding right now, so his face actually isn't the best right now.
  • Ambrose, PLEASE WIN. You're the last hope (it's just Big Show, Kane, Reigns, and Ambrose). I mean, you weren't my first pick, but it's like after your character gets eliminated in the video game royal rumble and you have to choose another character to be and you choose a random jobber, like A Train. Except Ambrose isn't actually a jobber. And this real life rumble is more scripted than the video game one. We need to have a fun match at Wrestlemania, win Ambrose!
  • NOOOOOOOO! Ambrose was eliminated. Darn you Big Show and Kane. Yeah, you guys are heels and doing your job, but that's not why I'm mad at you, it's because you're letting Reigns win. Reigns, if you would've won last year, it would be okay then. People, it's not because it's going to be Reigns, it's because it's not a captivating opponent for Lesnar.
  • There's a BS chant, makes sense.
  • Please let there be a 31st entrant
  • Maybe Kane can pull this off. 
  • Cena show up and win!
  • Curtis Axel come back and win!
  • Undertaker show up!
  • Lucy, move the football!
  • Anything!         
  • Wait, Kane and Big Show are beating down Roman now. Someone's gotta save him. Randy? The Rock?
  • THE ROCK! 
  • Okay, he saved Reigns, but you didn't change the result, FIX THIS rocky! This is your responsibility. 
  • NOOOOOOOO! Reigns has officially won the Royal Rumble.
  • Too weak WWE, too weak. 
  • The Rock's electricity won't rub off on you IF THAT'S WHAT YOU BELIEVE, ROMAN.
  • 2012's Rumble was worse, in my opinion, because I didn't feel much emotion during it. 
  • Well boys and girls, I guess it's Reigns V.S Lesnar V.S Daniel Bryan at Wrestlemania 31. 

Thanks for reading and spending some time with me! God bless you fine people and comment if you're into that "type" of thing. 

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